Thursday, March 29, 2012

Getting away and letting go..

Lets get a few things out of the way, I think too much (usually) and I am one of those people that most people would say takes life too seriously at the young age of 21 (almost 22). But every once in a while, I loosen up, let my really-short hair down and have some fun. The month of march gave me a few occasions to do so.

After lots of hard work, I finally had the good fortune of having two simply fabulous weekends in March. I went home for a weekend, which meant sleeping on the perfect dog Lay, laughing with my awesome sister D, chilling with the happy family, spending time with my lovely man P and the bonus of hanging out with a dear childhood friend, A. It was relaxing, rejuvenating and everything I needed. I returned to work with my well known hanger-in-my-mouth happy smile. :D

Just two weeks later, two of my sweet friends, AJ and K, decided that we just had to run far away from the city and the madness of work. And that is exactly what we did. We went far away into the woods. I indulged myself completely in the sights, smells, tastes, sounds and feeling of being around mother nature. After just a few hours of truly appreciating her and the relaxing, I saw something I had never seen before. As my friend AJ lazed around on the hammock under a beautifully lit starry night, she spotted something flickering near a tree. It was a tiny, yet fancy Firefly. I just watched it flutter and fly around for several minutes, completely absorbed in its beauty. The tiny fella took me by surprise and I kept staring. Soon, we went to bed in our tents and slept a good, fulfilling nights sleep. Bright, early and foggy, we set out on a nature walk. It was exhilarating to see birds I had never seen before and smell the fresh morning air. Who would have realised that happiness was that simple?

After a good breakfast, we rushed to a waterfall nearby that everybody was talking about. Huffing and puffing, we walked on, soon enough we heard the sound of the waterfall get louder and closer. And, there she was, not too big, not too small. Just perfect. As my friends urged me to go stand under her, I just remember letting go. I let the cold water fall on me and numb my senses. I let go of the negativity and the disappointment I had been carrying along. For in that moment, it was just me and the cold water. I don't remember the last time I felt that liberated.

I am grateful to AJ and K, for not just taking me along on this trip, but for reminding me that life is about these simple joys. About those jokes that just don't make sense. About getting child-like excited about a starry night. About jumping around on a trampoline. About smiling, singing, laughing, eating and living. :-)

Friday, March 16, 2012

Rain! Rain!

I can smell the oncoming rain! Can you?
Oh how awesome it would be
to be with you now.
To run wild and free.
To fall asleep with the rain outside.
To listen to your heart beat as the rain drops fall.
To take a walk outside after
the rain has washed the place free of grime.
Fresh smells. Fresh sights.
The beauty of a stroll together.

Oh I can smell the oncoming rain. Can you?
To taste the fresh air.
To cozy up to a warm cup of coffee.
To be whisked away in your arms.
To see stars after the sky clears.

Oh I can smell the oncoming rain. Can you?
The joys of lazing around and reading a book.
The sensation of knowing you are around.
Hot bajjis fresh from the store.
Warmth and love right there for show.

Oh I can smell the oncoming rain. Can you?
Your presence wraps me up.
I wish you were here tonight.
To smell the rain.
To taste the love.
To sense the longing.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

A familiar silence

I moved into a home of my own in Bengaluru in the end of January this year. I was very nervous and even terrified of what was in store for me. I had not lived all alone before. I kept wondering, would I cook every night? Would I cry myself to sleep cause I was lonely? Would I be scared of the darkness? Would I eventually need a roommate? I have now successfully lived a month and two weeks in a house all alone without too much drama. I have had sensational nights alone, some spent laughing with friends and family and I have had bad nights alone as well. But the good definitely overpowers the rest. It is strange because so often I have been told its wonderful to come home to loved ones or a known face.And that eventually I am going to feel very lonely. But after a month, my home, its smell, its dark corners, its quiet spaces, its quirks, are a warm welcome. I like to hear that familiar sound of the fridge when I walk in. I like knowing exactly where all my stuff is. Most importantly, I love the liberating feeling it gives me to pay my own rent, electricity bill and just run a house.
Being the youngest child, my family loved to pamper me. I was never faced with the need or overwhelmed by the want to cook or clean because someone else was always doing it. So moving out and living alone was a way for me to grow up. Shockingly, my home now (though small) is actually very clean. I wash my own clothes and I love doing it every Saturday morning. I found myself take to living alone very naturally. I always loved my space but living with a happy family I never had a reason to feel alone. Living alone does bring with it that challenge of never having someone around for a hug. And I am truly glad that I am handling it well. In fact, I am loving it quite a bit.
As I work for long hours each day, coming home to an empty house is often a relief. But every once in a while, a strange feeling creeps up on me, to question if this comfort I have with being alone means something far more serious. Now, I just push the thought away and go back to enjoying my solitude. For after all, if it makes me happy, it can't be that bad right?

Thursday, March 08, 2012

Cause self reflection is needed :)

Psych Babbler is a wonderful blogger I began to follow a while ago. She tagged me in this post. After much procrastinating and pushing this away, I have finally sat down to finish the task. I loved doing this tag cause it helped me reflect on my writing and allowed me the time and space to see if I have grown as a writer. I am glad that there has been some change. But I know there is a long way to go.

This post is to writing and to self reflection. Both of which keep me alive and happy. :)

So here are the categories in which you nominate your own posts. :D

— Your most beautiful post: I loved writing this piece cause the boy touched me. I don't think the content is beautiful. But it is the post that touched me. So in that sense I think its beautiful.

— Your most popular post: 'She's not just a pretty face' --- I write a lot of random posts but I never expected that so many people would like this post. My blog stats show it as my most read post.

– Your most controversial post: I think that I like the comments part of this post more than the post itself!

– Your most helpful post: I have received mails about Bama after this and I think it is helpful in some way. :)

– A post whose success surprised you: I am shocked to find that so many people relate to the idea of a quiet space. :)

– A post you feel didn’t get the attention it deserved: I am not too often proud of my work. But this one i hold very very close to my hear.

– The post that you are most proud of: This is the only section I am posting more than one. I am very partial to these two posts despite them being a little childish. I like the idea and I think I didn't execute it too badly.

Blogger nominates more bloggers to take part: 

Spaceman Spiff: Only started following you this year. Would love to see your list.


Red Handed: I am dying to see which one you are most proud of. :D

Arpita: :D Common dig up those archives!! :D I wanna read :D

Confessions of a chocolate obsessed: I am sure you will enjoy doing this :D

Anybody else who feels upto the task can please go right ahead. I think it is fairly enjoyable :)