Saturday, July 30, 2011

Test of time

A status message on Facebook got me very (very) angry. I usually don't indulge in stupid facebook fights especially with petty men, that too about cricket. As I feel under confident and less knowledgeable than men who eat, sleep and dream cricket to air my views. But this one was more than I could take. It brought out a fury I didn't think I had and that poor dude was at the receiving end of my wrath. In fairness, he had it coming.
Coming to the point, this dude had passed a rather judgmental comment about Rahul Dravid (yes, the wall himself). At that point, my defensive mode was for reasons unknown. Later I discovered why I love Dravid oh-so-much! Dravid is the very definition of consistency. He is there when team India needs them. He never makes too much of a splash, but always the right amount when needed. He is never surrounded in controversy. He is calm, quiet and a very together individual. Characteristics I have realised I like in a man. But putting all this aside, I like the way he plays a shot. So elegant, so classy and so mature. Never a hurried or rushed shot. Always smooth. (Yes. I sound turned on, cause I probably am) So, when people pass quick judgmental comments about a man who has stood the test of time, I don't like it.
This made me realise that poor boy is not the only one to make such judgments. We all do. We raise them (any cricketer) to a pedestal when they perform well. Yet so quick to criticize them when they make a mistake. So, that dreadful cycle of success and praise, and failure and disgrace continues.
And who else is the centre of this circus? None other than the Media. (Something I am a part of now. Sigh) Now the media has so much competition with know-it-alls on their active social media sites.
What happened to giving the players the benefit of doubt or lapse of their game? Aren't they after all human?
An interesting conversation with my aspiring cricketer friend revealed that the situation is only worse at the beginners stage. They are required to be superhuman and perform (read score a 100) every match. Phew! Talk about unwanted pressure. I guess those aspiring knew what they were getting into.
I pity the innocent, hardworking ones that like Dravid, who perform consistently in every match but haven't yet got their big break. I wish there would be more aspiration to find players like Dravid. Cause the man isn't going to last forever and I don't see anyone who can fit his shoes. For me, once Dravid retires, Indian cricket will not be the same. Despite never being in the limelight, Indian cricket has not seen a better test cricketer. Strong and able, Rahul Dravid has indeed survived the test of time.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Memoirs of a bitch.

I believe we all deal with pain, anger and frustration differently. We each have a special outlet or corner where we react to our hearts content. But is this true for everyone? I wonder.
For now, I am just going to speak for myself. I don't deal with pain and anger very well. I retain it inside till I reach a point where I have no other choice but to burst. That I am told is not good, either for my mental or physical health. Plus those who deserve to have their ears filled with abuses are safe. But I thought why not unleash it all.
So this is me confessing some truths. Actually, this is me releasing my inner bitchy self and not flinching.

  • He was talking. She was talking. Your name was never mentioned. Keep your nose and wise cracks out of the picture.

  • If I want to hear what you have to say, I will ask you specifically. 
  •  I don't have my eye on him. I don't plan to steal him from you. So don't bother infecting his brain about me.
  • WOW! Really?! The undertone of fake gave you away. Sorry.
  • You guys just hated each other two minutes back. Bonded over bitching about me?! So happy for you!!
  • "Listen, I would like it if you didn't tell anyone.." Two seconds later, suspect 1 sends a text. "Babe.. Guess what I just heard. She is loony."
  • To a stranger, "What the fuck are you looking at jackass?"
  • I am your friend. I will be there when you need me. Not ONLY when you need me.
  • There is no point in being nice to you. You never deserved it.
  • No. I don't want to be told I suck at living my own life. It is none of your business to start with.

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

To Wilde and wild thoughts

I recently read the book 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' by Oscar Wilde. By far one of the best books I have ever read. Oscar Wilde, you are a genius. Now for those who haven't read the book, a character in the book by the name 'Basil Hallward' paints a portrait (what I imagine is a magnificent one) of 'Dorian Gray'. He gifts the portrait to 'Dorian' but wishes that no on else ever see it, for he believes he put too much of his soul into it. The lines in the book read as "The reason I will not exhibit this photo is that I am afraid that I have shown in it the secret of my own soul."
Those lines, that feeling is one I will always relate to. Everytime I write a work of 'fiction' I feel anxious about letting people read it. I feel it is too personal, has too much of me in it. I feel people who read it will know my inner most thoughts. Often I don't blog because of this constant inner battle I fight- To tell the world or hide it in my head. I definitely don't update my statuses (on fb) because of it. When someone asks you 'what's on your mind?', does one ever respond honestly? I wonder.
I can easily see myself divulging my happy thoughts. But what about the dark and scary ones? I can never seem to share them.It never surfaces from its nesting point in my brain cells. Not through a pen/pencil to my diary. Not through a keyboard to my blog. I keep it close to me, it stays locked in my head. Which makes me wonder if I fear the judging eye? I am allowed to feel, think and say what I want. Yet I refrain.
Which brings me to the lines in the book "An artist should create beautiful things, but should put nothing of his own life into them." Written by Wilde, it has to be the most contradicting statement. The man wrote fabulous books and I am positive that pieces of his life and his soul were buried in them. Most probably inspired the works and made them so great. So it makes me think that works of 'fiction' aren't really entirely 'fiction'. I have tried, but most pieces of my 'fiction' are also driven by a personal experience.

I have not written as regularly as I want to.  Not even half as much as I should be writing. I waste time fighting the urge to make my thoughts public. I am entitled to my opinion. And anyway, I am not half as popular as I imagine or wish to be :p

So in the end, I just want to thank Oscar Wilde, for putting a piece of him in his every work. For being brave and writing his masterpieces. :-)

For the love of tags and answering questions! :)

I read this on Priyanka's blog and I simply wanted to answer it. Questions get me all excited. I don't know why. I had so much fun answering this. :) I have vowed to start writing more. Hopefully, this is just the beginning. :)
I am tagging few more people. As I would like people to answer it too. :) So.. Mittu, Mishi, Nee-baby!, PJ, To-Ph, Shu... too many?! Well two more.. Just in case :p Vinie! :) and Sandy :)

Any one else is free to tag themselves and write away. :) Hope you enjoy it as much as I do :)

1. Without sharing your name, who are you?
The quiet girl in the corner. The one whose nose is buried in some book. The one that will smile at you, if you look her way. The one that can be friendly but restrains. The girl who finds it hard to say no.

2. Describe yourself in less than five words.
Sensitive. Introvert. Crazy. Observant.

3. Do you have any special talents? What?
I would want to say yes. But I cannot think of any. I wish writing a good story was my special talent.
If being clumsy is a talent, I definitely have it. I can fall anywhere. Without being tripped.

4. Are there any talents you wish you had? What?
I wish I could play an instrument or sing or dance. But I am always off key. And I have two left feet.

5. What are your most important interests? What do you like about them?
I love reading. It is my favourite interest. It opens my eyes it new worlds and new thoughts. My other interest will have to be writing. It helps me explore life through another’s eyes.

6. What is your opinion of Lady Gaga?
Bold. She is very comfortable in her own shoes.

7. If you could go anywhere right this second, where would you go?
Hyderabad. I need to see some people instantly.

8. What are your favourite foods for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
Breakfast: Bread, eggs and lots and lots of coffee.
Lunch: Subway sandwich. With extra jalapenos, pickles and olives.
Dinner: A large plate of yummy pasta and fries. (No clue why.)

9. Do you have siblings? Talk about them; if not, talk about being an only child.
Two sisters. Best things that ever happened to me. My biggest support. My best friends. My angels in no disguise. My go-to people. My biggest strength and weakness. They are the ones who remind me that it is good to put yourself out there. :)

10. Do you like sports? What teams do you support?
I love sports. Been playing for too long to not love it. Indian cricket team. The Hyderabad Ranji team (for personal reasons) Manchester United. Jenson Button and Ferrari. (strange combo) Roger Federrer (though he is not really a team). Mahesh Bhupathi and Leander Paes. The Indo-Pak express.

11. Do you have any tattoos? If not, would you ever get one?
No tattoos yet. Want one. Will definitely get one.

12. Have you ever donated blood? Why or why not?
No. Sadly, I am way too anaemic to donate. Sigh.

13. How do you like your coffee and/or tea?
COFFEE!! Bitter and strong.

14. Are you left- or right-handed?
Right handed.

15. If you’re in college, what are you studying? If not, what did/what are you planning to study?
I am working at a tabloid newspaper. Want to do my masters in Literature.

16. What are some of your short-term goals?
Finish what I started at my job. Write like never before.

17. What kind of music do you like?
All kinds. Not too picky.

18. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
Switzerland. I need the mountains close by. And somehow the nature calls out to me. Maybe Dehradun in India also.

19. Have you ever been overseas? Where and when?
Is Nepal overseas? :\ Sigh!!

20. Have you ever been to the circus? What did you think at the time?
I haven’t. I don’t remember going at least.

21. Are you wearing shoes right now? If so, describe them. If not, describe your socks/feet.
No shoes. I have large (size 9) feet. Black colour badly painted toe nails. I hate my feet. Hate.

22. List some things you’d like to do before you die.
I have a bucket list. And none of them seem possible right now. But the most important one is own an animal shelter with my family and make this world a tiny bit happier for them.

23. What do you prefer to write with; pencil, pen, crayon, Sharpie, lipstick, chalk, etc?
Pencil. :) I am very old school that way.

24. Do you like movies? What are your favorites?
Yes. I like movies. But all my favourite ones are favourite for I attached some sentimental thought to them. Sex and the city (cause it reminds me that yah-yah’s are the best). Marley and me (for dogs have changed my world).  Inception (for dreams are the new reality).

25. Do you like chocolate? What’s your favorite kind? If not, WHY.
I love chocolate. Any chocolate is fine by me. Just give it to me :p