Monday, June 27, 2011


A strange conversation made me ask this question. I am aware it is not valentines day. But I genuinely need this question answered. What IS love?

I am told I am trying to understand and comprehend a very big mountain of feelings, for love is too complex for words to ever do justice. It's multiple nuances are indeed difficult to break down. If I were to attempt to explain 'Love' all by myself, I am positive it would not be possible. For I do believe love is subjective.The fact that it is subjective makes it so special and coveted. It makes many look for it and try to grasp it for long enough to understand it.
In this attempt to understand it, I sent out a group text to some of my friends {Thank you all for replying. :-)} The responses were varied and made me realise the power and goodness of love.

Love is care, trust respect and understanding in its purest form. Love is conveying the deepest thoughts in silence. Thank you, Paarth for teaching me that. I have always felt 'something' when I am around the people I love. But I never managed to put that precious feeling into words. Sannidhi Jhala did a perfect job of describing that feeling as 'peace'. Peace is that remarkable feeling that washes over us; the feeling that get nowhere else in the world but in love.
But, there is more to love. Obviously. It's not only about being at peace. It involves looking out for the other and never taking them for granted, just as Mittu believes is possible, by showing deep respect for the other person's feelings, opinion and time.
Love is not just being there for the other when 'good times roll'. But it is about not being afraid to face things we fear, dread, because you have someone by your side. So aptly put Neehara. So Chris also believes. Love is not just about laughing your ass off together but feeling the other's pain as well. In other words, loving someone is not just about saying 'I love you'. Love is knowing without being blatantly told, says Aishu. To say, love is all about feeling. As Tabitha thinks, love is that powerful overpowering gut feeling that can reflect all kinds of emotions.
Love is special. Love is unique, as you can see. Love overpowers all. Love is kind and nourishing. Love makes us forgive and forget. Love is love and we all find it. Sometimes in unexpected people, sometimes in obvious ones. But it always finds a way to creep into our hearts, for an unknown frame of time, to trick us into doing mysterious things. And it always takes one by surprise.

I dedicate this post on love to the one who taught me that love is unconditional. Layla, my love, my four-legged fur ball friend, I miss your silent understanding ways.
I am pretty sure there are other sides to it that I haven't touched upon or am unaware of. So, please do share your opinion of love. :-)

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Writers Block.

I have tried and tired to write tons and tons of things for ages now. There has been just one response from my brain and hands. *blank* After months of scribbling things in my notebook and never pursuing those thoughts through, I have reached this stage of sheer frustration. Hence today I decided I'll write about not being able to write. Since Its the only thought that haunts me.Yes, haunts. Why? Because ever since I can remember I have wanted to be a writer. A writer who can connect with her readers; one that can describe with ease what is hard for others. A writer that was good, very good. This many months long writers block puts that whole future in jeopardy. I have begun to wonder and worry if who and what I want to be is truly out of my reach.
Hours do not go by without that worry eating away a little bit of my energy and my smile. Then some things happened that changed how I view me and my future. I just started my first job in a strange city (barring my lovely sister and her sweet husband). At work, I learned that all great writers have one thing in common. Very good editors. During my training for this job, a man full of experience enlightened me that the first two years of any career are not about growth, are not about competition. They are simply about learning. In that moment, I had an epiphany. I am 21. I have my whole life ahead of me to accomplish my dream. This does not mean I am going to forget about it or stop writing. This just means I am going to stop worrying. Worrying about why I am not writing or how I am writing. Or harbour any such thoughts. I am simply going to write, write, write and write. The rest will follow.

For after all, every writer to be good has to work hard. So this is me, putting in the hard work and letting life shape the writer in me.

Sunday, June 05, 2011

When I was young...

"And sometimes you close your eyes
and see the place where you used to live
When you were young" - The Killers.

I sat in the car with my legs cross legged on the back seat and these lyrics came floating into my mind space. Right next to me sat my favourite person in the world, with her feet on the seat, her head out the window and tongue hanging out. She was excited about going somewhere. She didn't ask questions; she just did not want to be left behind. We left a lot behind that day. But Layla was definitely not on the list.
I watched Marredpally slowly become a blur as my dad sped on to our new home in Shameerpet. I watched with a heavy heart and a knotted stomach. I had asserted multiple times that Marredpally meant little or nothing to me. But this shift was threatening to send me down nostalgia lane. I obliged and let the frames of my memories play, like it was all yesterday.

  • The first memory inevitably was all the roads Layla walked in and all the ones she avoided because she saw ghosts. Typical chicken-goat-dog.
  • All those times Anvitha and me walked aimlessly on those tiny streets, laughing, kidding, hiding from strange people. The thought of us years ago made me smile.
  • The very many completely asinine names Mittu, Misha and me gave every dog on the street.
  • Every game of baseball in Shenoy grounds and every volleyball match in community hall that brought me closer to the games and helped make me, well me.
  • The multiple packets of biscuits fed to Suzie.
  • The scandalous standby things that happened and the ones I took part in.
  • The official place where all the Yah- Yah bonding begun, flourished and blossomed.
  • All the friends I made, all the ones that stayed and the ones that moved on and left me with fond memories of my childhood and adolescence.

And the above are merely the memories that come to mind instantly. The house, the area, the locality hold a special place in my heart. It will always be the space in which I grew up; the space where I learnt from my mistakes; the space where I learnt to be me.

It makes me realize that I will move on with my life, to new places with different faces. But, somethings, some places and some people will stay with you, always.