Thursday, August 19, 2010

I miss the innocence.

A lecturer in my college got me thinking. He wanted us to fight to stay away from doing what the crowd does, as a journalist. I want to take his thought beyond the frame of a journalist, to our characters and life. People tell me I am no longer innocent. Sometimes I wonder why in God's name I grew up. It is so hard to have seen the world, its harsh realities and then fight to stay good.

When I meet cheats, liars and jerks, I complain. I refrain from behaving the way they do. Can I not apply that to every aspect? I wonder why I am tempted so often to sink to that level as a sense of defense. When someone hurts you, you find a need to recoil. The art of high road is dead. I love taking the high road. But there is a limit till you can take it. After that you are tempted to attack back. Fighting that urge and staying true to myself is a fight I face everyday. I wonder if such thoughts enter the minds of those causing me harm. I suppose not. Else they do a good job of ignoring them.
I once read, "Broken bones are easy". The truth in this statement is astounding. The words, phrases, paragraphs and stories people weave to make us believe a "truth" makes me wish I was a monk or another species. But if I were to give them the benefit of doubt and believe for a while, they find a way to prove themselves and me wrong along the way. Making this the most contorted fact of my life.Thanks to them, my innocence is tarnished, I am bordering being highly cynical and I struggle to keep myself afloat. All in an attempt to not become one of the crowd. It's not like I dare to be different, just that I am brave  enough to admit that I am.
I don't need more drama than the natural calamities of this world. But the irony is, I still have some lessons to learn. Till then, I fight to smile. I fight to survive. I fight to grow.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Random excerpts of the wandering mind.

The sight of green,
The smell of purity,
The feel of peace,
The thought of sanity.
The mixture of ideas all to urge an existence of betterment. Where did he go wrong? When will he feel strong? Ideas of confidence fail him. Seated in a large room, enveloped by the voices in his head, he drowns in them. Fretting over insignificant details, focusing on irrelevant ideas, he suffers to stay afloat. As he attempts now to clear up his mind, to redefine and redirect, he finds a ray of hope. He finds a reason to not rivet to the gloom of the state, to the spiral soaring him further beneath.
Just a little faith in the unknown.

She saw the butterflies and the flowers,
He saw the motionless cement walls.
She saw the sun, warm and bright,
He saw the darkness of every night.
She smiled in groups and solo,
He laughed in the company of his own.
She believed there were highs after every low,
He just waited to get up post the brutal falls.
She loved the beautiful world,
He lived the real world.
She knew life was all good,
He faced the struggles for the good.
Life has two sides.Not everyone sees the light of the day everyday. Some live off the light they saw. Some struggle to sieve the good from the nasty. All getting by with..
Just a little faith in the unknown.

How long can you take the bullets before you show you bleed?
How long before you realize letting go is the only way?
How long before the love hurts more than pain?
Time is such a funny thing. Some people give in instantly.. some take their time. Both being the right thing to do.Sometimes you must think about what it does to you, to your mind, your body and you sanity.
Let it be.. Let it go..
Set yourself free from the chains of this world.

The imprecise world of words is equivalent to the unpredictable life created by the irrational actions. Can trust neither. Can only hope that there is some right in the words and some good in the unpredictability.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Spring! :)

The sun had set; the beach looked mysterious and remarkable at the same time. As I walked on the sand, she approached me from the back. I didn’t notice her till she jumped and pawed my thighs. She had a bounce about her. How she knew I wouldn’t harm her I cannot comprehend. But she had summarised me well in that first glance. Her uninhibited joy at my excited voice and overjoyed petting was heart warming. I was tempted to pick her up to get a better, closer look at her face; but she bounded away towards the sea. I watched her approach the waves with a bravery that seemed indigestible for her size and her age. She waited for them from a distance and inched behind in fright if they came too close. I stopped a few feet behind her, scared to be too close to the waves, and watched her innocence with jealousy and awe. Mostly white except a small brown patch on her head, she resembled snow. She had extraordinarily big eyes that radiated positivity, which melted me into a giant puddle of love.

She turned around after a while and came by my side, like my own. Comfortably seated in my presence, together we listened and watched the mighty waves, in their beautiful form. She twitched occasionally when the waves got a sudden rush of force, but, never left my side. I knelt down by her side and patted her throughout. In a matter of seconds, she had called out to me and answered my prayers, at the same time reminding me of the existence of a parallel world; one that is overwhelmingly pure. I walked away from the beach and saw her run on in front of me, with a sense of bliss about her stride. I couldn’t help but name her Spring, happy and bubbling with an unhindered spirit.