Seated in a large room, I look around me. So many people seem to so easily blend into another. There is such a rush to fit in that soon enough people even begin to dress, talk and feel like the other. I never understood this concept of fitting in. To me everyone is a unique combination of ideas and thoughts. I never bothered very much in the effort to belong anywhere. My self proclaimed nonchalant attitude does come across in the way I speak and behave. I used to not be this. I felt a need to be accepted in the hip and happening group. That emotion didn’t stay with me for too long. Thankfully. As I grew older, I made friends. Some for years, some for months, some of same gender, some of the opposite gender. Each one with characteristics special to them. Some that I play and joke around with. Some that I share deep rooted philosophies with. Others a random mix match of all the above. This gives me an arena where I will always belong, where I am accepted for exactly the way I am. Making the concept of absorbing the surroundings and recreating almost dead to me. As I see people around me change and morph themselves depending on the company I wonder if the idea of true self exists. No matter the company, does one not have an identity that one sticks to? More often than not I am told I am a hyper child. I agree completely. But another, deeper side to me does exist, which is an integral part of me. I don't argue the various layers and sides to a person. But just the inclination to lose oneself in the ideas of another.
In an attempt to not be left out, I notice people try hard, very hard. Impressing the ones that stand out. Probably forgetting a bit of themselves over time. I am absolutely grateful right now, to be so comfortable around myself that I have lost the need to impress. I make friends slowly, sieving through the masks to see the real ones. While keeping the dear ones that matter close.
As I make my way out of the room, I look around to see a familiar face or two and I smile. I know it will take time, but I will make new friends. Ones that are brave enough to show me who they are and stick up for their beliefs without any farce. Till then, I walk in the secure realm of my mind with the people I love.