Thursday, July 22, 2010

Somewhere I belong...

Seated in a large room, I look around me. So many people seem to so easily blend into another. There is such a rush to fit in that soon enough people even begin to dress, talk and feel like the other. I never understood this concept of fitting in. To me everyone is a unique combination of ideas and thoughts. I never bothered very much in the effort to belong anywhere. My self proclaimed nonchalant attitude does come across in the way I speak and behave. I used to not be this. I felt a need to be accepted in the hip and happening group. That emotion didn’t stay with me for too long. Thankfully. As I grew older, I made friends. Some for years, some for months, some of same gender, some of the opposite gender. Each one with characteristics special to them. Some that I play and joke around with. Some that I share deep rooted philosophies with. Others a random mix match of all the above. This gives me an arena where I will always belong, where I am accepted for exactly the way I am. Making the concept of absorbing the surroundings and recreating almost dead to me. As I see people around me change and morph themselves depending on the company I wonder if the idea of true self exists. No matter the company, does one not have an identity that one sticks to? More often than not I am told I am a hyper child. I agree completely. But another, deeper side to me does exist, which is an integral part of me. I don't argue the various layers and sides to a person. But just the inclination to lose oneself in the ideas of another.

In an attempt to not be left out, I notice people try hard, very hard. Impressing the ones that stand out. Probably forgetting a bit of themselves over time. I am absolutely grateful right now, to be so comfortable around myself that I have lost the need to impress. I make friends slowly, sieving through the masks to see the real ones. While keeping the dear ones that matter close.

As I make my way out of the room, I look around to see a familiar face or two and I smile. I know it will take time, but I will make new friends. Ones that are brave enough to show me who they are and stick up for their beliefs without any farce. Till then, I walk in the secure realm of my mind with the people I love.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

My guardian angels!

I strongly believe god sends us all guardian angels to get through life on earth. Sometimes it gets very hard to get through it by yourself. For those times your guardian angels make life live-able. I have my own set of guardian angels. Ones that have seen me through the worst times and been with me at my happiest ones. My very own famille. I am immensely lucky to have them and there is not a day that goes by without me being grateful for their existence. This post is just a way to say thank you. For everything.

Appi dearest: How you know exactly how I am feeling I will never be able to explain. Thanks for never questioning and only hugging. Thanks for the faith you show in me. It is my driving force. You are the ultimate dad!

Amma: Your kindness and care have taken me through my darkest times. I am eternally in awe of your ways. You always know exactly what to say. You are my role model :)

Mishi: Your words soothe and energize at the same time. I will never wholly grasp where you generate all that positivity from. Whether near or far you never fail to always be there for me. You are my best friend and my sturdiest pillar of support. I don't know where I would be without you.

Mittu: You are my laughter machine. With you around it is impossible to not be in splits and let all my negativity go. You are my biggest critic. What you think is of utmost importance. You are my best friend and my sturdiest pillar of support. I don't know where I would be without you.

Lay: You are my love and my life. You have taught me patience and how to love. You are the best listener and the best secret keeper. I'l never be able to tell you how you changed my world and me. I love you!

This is an attempt at a thank you for being everything one can ever imagine or need. I love you the most. You are my number one priority. You make my world.