Thursday, January 28, 2010

A game..

A thing of the past,
An ache in the present,
A thorn in the future,

Why can’t I erase this pain?
When will I feel like myself again?

A jolt of thoughts,
A flash of the past,
A river of emotions,

It’s a game of my mind,
To isolate and stay perpetually on rewind.

A flood of rage,
An overdose of bravery,
A sprinkle of perception,

When will I see the right?
And stop this insane reasoning with all my might?

A jerk of insanity,
The swing of moods,
A speck of spite,

It’s a game of my mind,
To pick the mindless feeling all the while.

A swirl of complication,
A taste of regret,
The smell of defeat,

Why can I not face the shock?
And stop reveling in the light of the dark?

The pace of judgment,
The noise of silence,
The intellect of insight,

It’s a game of my mind,
To detach logic and conquer the innocence outright.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Depressingly satisfying consolation

She laughed to herself. And then her look turned sour. Directed at herself really. Could it be possible that she was harbouring such hostility? But the fact remains that she is. And it is far from easy to let it all go. She jumped up and down, covered her head with her hood. She had a grim expression. She made up her mind to not think throughout her run. She braced the cool early morning breeze. The sun had not yet risen. But she could feel the miniscule ray of hope, sparks of the brand new day. Ironically just then seemed like her player switched to the next song and the track was pretty morose. A look of disapproval crossed her face. She shuddered it off and switched the song instantly. She wanted to at the very least, start the day positive. She began her jog again. She let the song determine the pace of her running. The fast songs giving her an instant boost of energy. The slow numbers giving her time to catch her breath. She blessed shuffle play aloud. She jogged… closing her eyes for a second to inhale the breathtaking sunrise and the magnificent calm of the morning. The positive energies swept through her. Her face showed a remarkable change. It was like a transfer of energies from mother nature to her. She opened her eyes in hope that the day wouldn’t be gloomy. She could not stand that. She wrinkled her nose at the thought. She spent most of her waking moments drowning herself in the imaginary memories of her imaginary prince. She smiled and blushed at the thought of him. The imaginary prince who would save her from the demons of the world. She shook her head in an attempt to shake the thought off. Or were those also only imaginary. Damn. She looked frustrated with herself. She was losing that positive streak already. Determined to stay positive she gritted her teeth and attempted that fake smile.
It was like I could read her mind. Like it was a reflection of mine. Every day I followed her early morning routine right from her doorstep all through her run… all from my kitchen window. It resembled mine only marginally. But I could recognise that look of sheer desperation anywhere. The same look that was wanting a change. And a change fast. I could relate to that look. I felt that look. And I couldn’t help recognise that same look that stares back at me every time I look in a mirror.
I didn’t know who she was.
Just a girl who had caught my eye. Just a girl who I craved to sight every morning. Just a girl who did a better job than my wretched mirror. Just a girl who reminded me that there are many more women like me out there.
She probably was not thinking any of the things I imagined her to be. But it was a depressingly satisfying consolation that I gave myself every time I saw her… I am not alone.

The content has no reference to any person/animal living or dead. Any resemblance is purely a work of your imagination. This is entirely a work of fiction.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Revelations of 2009

Every year we learn new things. This year I want to take the time and point out the weird stuff I learnt. Cheers to everyone who helped me learn them.

• Prathama and Dwithiya Raghavan are exceptions to every rule. They are perfect.
• Layla Raghavan is my everything. My love, my life.
• Usha Raghavan and K.R.Raghavan are still so in love. It's adorable.
• Paarth Jhala is the only one of a kind Big Friendly Giant around. Thanks for all the rescuing.
• Neehara Sanjivi is the cutest tiniest person around.
• Kapil B. Baldev is the patientest person on this planet.
• Not all men are jerks. Not all women are bitches. I have met a fair share of both good and bad in 2009.
• Huzefa Kapadia loves AIESEC. You have to love him in spite of his love. Sorry huz. We don’t approve.
• You can take any food away from Aishuwarya Sudarshan but not ice cream!!! Don't dare try it.
• Love comes to us in mysterious and obvious ways.
• Kumail Sadiq is the fastest walker in Hyderabad. Deal with his pace or walk with aishu and huz!
• Time and distance has made Anvitha Patalay, Nenita Praveen and Srinidhi Raghavan stronger.
• Kalyan Yasaswi is a friend indeed. Also one of the best photographers in town.
• Chris Isaac has a secret nidhi mood detector. Thanks chris.
• Prasanna V. Loganathar is the coolest geek.
• Kushang Moorthy can make me smile very very easily.
• Not every stalker is dangerous.
• Reading and writing are the best habits I have.
• Zubin. J. Poovathinkal is the best lawyer I know. He can fight two sides of any case. ANY case
• Friends are those that allow you to pick up where you left off without any questions, that don't judge you, that are able to forgive you for your foolishness, that love you for your stupidities.
• I met the best boss, the wittiest man and I completely love my job.
• Janette Rahman is a blessing in disguise. She doesn’t know it yet.
• You learn all the important lessons the hard way. Trust me.
• If a woman who is better than you thinks you are nice. Don't argue. Thank you Vineeta.
• Rommel Anand is a piece of awesomeness.
• Jonathan Brainard has a knack for gifting innovative presents.
• Janice (a.k.a our kinetic) is a savior alright.
• India is India. You can hate how she functions but never her.
• My home is my sanctuary.
• What goes around comes back around. Be prepared. For anything.

The order has no relevance in anything. Just how the thought flowed.